


Would You Be Good for Me, Too?

by TonySawicki



Series: I'd Be Good for You [2]
Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Happy, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Shame kink, Topping from the Bottom, light exhibitionism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 03:49:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14633490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonySawicki/pseuds/TonySawicki
Summary: The end of rehearsal could hardly come fast enough for Toshiya, who was more than ready to have Kaoru all to himself again, to see him with his walls down and get him back to that vulnerable and desperate place like he had their first night together...





	Would You Be Good for Me, Too?

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy so a lot of people had mentioned wanting a sequel? More about Toshiya and Kaoru? Here is some fluff and nonsense and... maybe nothing very exciting or different from the first one, haha, but oh well. This time we get to see more Toshiya's side of it, which I think this is... maybe the first thing I've ever written where we get Toshiya's perspective? Definitely not what I'm used to.  
> Anyway, who knows how long it'll be until something more romantic happens in that Die/Kyo I'm working on, so here's some smut. Enjoy!!

Toshiya had the slightest of bounces in his step as he walked into the studio for rehearsal. It would be his first time seeing Kaoru since their date. Or, since the morning after their date.

It had been everything he’d always dreamed—maybe actually even better. Even when they woke up together, Kaoru hadn’t been awkward the way Toshiya might have worried. He’d smiled as Toshiya brought him coffee, and they’d stood on his balcony drinking it together while Kaoru smoked. It had been easy and comfortable, and when they’d parted ways, it was with the promise that their relationship was only beginning.

They’d agreed to go get dinner (properly this time) after rehearsal, and now Toshiya was just excited to see him, though he was a bit nervous regarding how he ought to interact with him now in this professional setting. He supposed all he could really do was take it one step at a time.

Before he really had much opportunity to worry about his interactions with Kaoru, Toshiya was nearly running headfirst into Die, standing with his hands on his hips and grinning like some kind of devil, Kyo beside him.

“Hey Totchi,” Die said.

“What?” Toshiya was immediately wary with how he was being looked at.

“Well?” Kyo crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows.

“Well, what??”

Die rolled his eyes. “Your _date_.”

“How did it go?” Kyo looked very serious.

“Kaoru didn’t text me again once I told him how to find you in the restaurant,” Die said. “I’m assuming he found you, and since I didn’t get a pissed-off phone call… It went well?”

Toshiya hesitated before nodding a little. “It went well.”

Die’s grin seemed impossible now. “Yeah? What _happened_? We need _details_!”

“We don’t need details,” Kyo said, shaking his head.

“We _do_!” Die insisted. “He went right for it, didn’t he? I knew he just needed the chance to open up.”

Toshiya hoped he wasn’t blushing too badly at Die’s choice of words. “He was confused at first, and kind of angry that you guys hadn’t been honest with him.”

Kyo made an annoyed little sound. “He never would have listened to his own needs without a push from us.”

“I think he realized that,” Toshiya said.

“So what did you guys talk about? Did you end up just doing drinks or did he buy you dinner?” Toshiya wasn’t sure when he’d last seen Die so excited about something that wasn’t baseball.

“Neither, actually,” Toshiya said.

“No _way_.” Die’s eyes were wide. “He didn’t just take you home right away! Geez, he must’ve been even harder up than I thought.”

“Stop getting ahead of yourself,” Kyo said mildly. “There are plenty of other things they might’ve done besides drinks or dinner that aren’t jumping straight into bed together.”

They both looked at Toshiya, and all he could do was stare back, trying and failing to come up with some lie for how he and Kaoru had spent their time.

When the pause was long enough, Kyo just closed his eyes and rubbed at a spot between them, as if he were trying to physically erase whatever mental image had arisen, while Die was legitimately cackling.

“He couldn’t wait to throw you down on the bed, eh?” Die said.

“We _don’t_ need details,” Kyo said again, and started trying to push Die away from Toshiya.

Toshiya wasn’t sure how to answer that anyway, since that really hadn’t been at all how things had gone down.

Die dug in his heels, not letting Kyo push him. “Wait, what does that face mean?” His mouth dropped open and then he was grabbing Kyo’s shoulders to lean past him, hissing, “ _You_ fucked _him_ , didn’t you??”

Toshiya couldn’t even be shocked, and instead found himself smirking almost triumphantly.

“ _None of our business_ ,” Kyo said firmly, and gave Die a hard enough shove to send him stumbling backwards a few steps. He turned back to Toshiya with an arched eyebrow. “Congratulations.” With that, he followed after Die, both of them moving to get ready for rehearsal.

“What did _they_ want?”

Toshiya almost jumped at Kaoru’s voice beside him, despite the calm gentleness with which he had spoken. He turned to see him peering suspiciously after Die and Kyo, and chanced reaching to squeeze his hand. That got Kaoru’s attention on him instead, and a small smile. “They wanted to know about our date.”

The smile faded. “Oh. What did you tell them?”

Toshiya made a face. There was no way Kaoru would be happy with the level of information Die and Kyo had gotten.

“Oh lord,” Kaoru said. “I don’t want to know, do I.”

“Probably not,” Toshiya said. “But I think they’re happy for us.”

“Good,” Kaoru said. “I’m happy, too.”

Toshiya was glowing. “Good.”

“We’re still on for dinner tonight?” Kaoru asked.

“Definitely.”

“Second date?” Shinya said, suddenly in front of them, and wow, Toshiya really needed to start paying better attention to who was standing around him.

“Yes,” Kaoru said stiffly. Apparently Shinya had managed to sneak up on him as well.

“The first date went well then,” Shinya said, looking pleased.

“Yes,” Kaoru said again. After a pause he added, “Thank you. For encouraging it.”

“I just want you both to be happy,” Shinya said easily. “Take good care of each other.”

“We’ll do our best,” Toshiya assured him.

That didn’t seem like a wholly satisfactory response based on the face Shinya made, but then he was walking away from them, giving them some privacy.

“See?” Toshiya linked his fingers with Kaoru’s. “Everyone is supportive.”

“I think we knew that much before I even knew we were going on a date,” Kaoru said, squeezing Toshiya’s fingers slightly.

“True enough.” Toshiya nudged him with his shoulder. “So, where are you taking me tonight?”

“You’ll see,” Kaoru said. “Now stop being so distracting so we can actually rehearse?”

Toshiya smiled widely. “You find me distracting?”

“Painfully,” Kaoru admitted. “I don’t want to tear myself away from you.”

“Aww, that’s so sappy and cute!!” Toshiya said, louder than he should have.

“What’s sappy and cute? What, what??” Die asked eagerly from across the room.

Kaoru rolled his eyes and dropped Toshiya’s hand. “All right, that’s enough.”

“But what sappy thing did Kaoru do??” Die said, his eyes pleading.

Kaoru moved to pick up his guitar. “I happen to know you’re the biggest sap of all, so maybe you don’t wanna start down this path.”

“I’ll own that,” Die said. “Isn’t that all the more reason to _share_ the moment with me?”

Kaoru just shook his head, and Toshiya waved at Die, mouthing “ _Later_ ,” which seemed to be good enough for him.

Rehearsal went honestly more smoothly than the band was used to.

It wasn’t that rehearsal was typically rough, but Kaoru was in a mood that no one else often saw on him. He was focused and positive, and while he still wasn’t letting them get away with any mistakes they could easily fix, his attitude lifted the spirits of the whole band, and everyone came out of it feeling like they’d gotten more accomplished than they generally did.

Still, the end of rehearsal could hardly come fast enough for Toshiya, who was more than ready to have Kaoru all to himself again, to see him with his walls down and get him back to that vulnerable and desperate place like he had their first night together.

Toshiya had allowed Kaoru some sense of control by letting him pick the restaurant and drive them there, but he was looking forward to ripping him right back out of that comfort zone once they got home from dinner.

The restaurant choice was actually a bit of a surprise, though not an unpleasant one. Kaoru had chosen to bring Toshiya somewhere far more traditionally romantic than Toshiya would have predicted, as if he were trying to make up for their first date’s lack of ambience by laying it on extra thick this time around.

As they ate, Kaoru opened up about himself, talking about his family in a way that Toshiya couldn’t recall him ever having done before. Toshiya found himself stunned that there could be so many intimate details about Kaoru that he still wasn’t privy to after all these years, and despite his having fallen for him so long ago. Every tiny revelation felt like a precious gift, like a kiss lingering on his skin, and he stowed each one away in his heart protectively.

In return, Toshiya tried to share some of himself that he didn’t typically as well. He didn’t want to be the guy who talks excessively about his exes on a date with someone, especially so early on in the relationship, but he touched briefly on the depression he’d gone through a few years back after what had been a particularly painful breakup. Kaoru responded with understanding, and Toshiya had the feeling he’d just explained something for Kaoru for which he’d never had the answers before.

Toshiya hardly noticed how long they’d been talking until a text came in from Die, reminding him to share any “cute/sappy” things Kaoru did when he got the chance. They didn’t bother with dessert, and Kaoru drove them back to Toshiya’s place this time.

Somehow, Toshiya found himself more nervous than he had been the other night. It wasn’t as easy to just do something bold and take Kaoru by surprise, but at the same time, Kaoru was _there_. He’d come up to Toshiya’s apartment and was still in a good mood, and he really seemed to _want_ to be there, which was kind of wild in and of itself. After so long with him wanting Kaoru, basically pining after him, loving him from a safe distance, Kaoru was giving Toshiya the chance to have everything he wanted. 

Bringing out drinks for both of them, Toshiya took a moment to admire the simple sight of Kaoru relaxing on his sofa. He couldn’t help but smile as he handed him a beer, and set his own down on the coffee table.

“Rehearsal was productive today,” Toshiya said, leaning one hip against the arm of the couch. “There was a different vibe to it, didn’t you think?”

“Was there?” Kaoru shrugged.

“You seemed… positive,” Toshiya said.

“Not a control freak like usual?”

“I didn’t say that,” Toshiya said with a playful smile. “Anyway, I don’t mind you being a little controlling.”

Kaoru raised his beer bottle to his lips and swallowed. “No?” He looked at Toshiya for a few seconds before looking away and finally taking a drink. Bringing the bottle down again, he cleared his throat. “Can’t say I mind when you are, either.”

Just like that, the whole mood of the conversation seemed to have shifted, and Toshiya was struggling for his next breath even as he let himself slip into the role Kaoru wanted from him—which was not to suggest that it was even remotely a role that Toshiya himself didn’t _want_ to slip into. He treasured the sweet moments they could share together, and the side of his personality that Kaoru was willing to show around him, but he would be outright lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about taking Kaoru’s control from him again, that he wasn’t aching to tie him up and have him begging for mercy.

Toshiya held Kaoru’s gaze as he slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. He watched Kaoru’s Adam’s apple bob, his fingers clench and unclench. It was difficult to know where to start when Toshiya had just about every dirty fantasy featuring Kaoru he’d ever dared to imagine—so many of them taking place in this very room—flashing through his mind at rapid speed. Once his shirt was open he just dragged a hand lazily over his own abdomen and up across his chest. He let out a quiet sigh as his fingers brushed over one nipple, and he tipped his head back, exposing his long neck in a deliberately teasing manner.

Hearing Kaoru’s shaky little exhale, Toshiya allowed himself a private smile and lifted his head to look at him once more with hooded eyes. He felt warm, seeing how he had Kaoru’s full attention, even his beer set aside now. He made a show of rolling up his sleeves before pointing at the floor at his feet and giving Kaoru a look that was as much a command as words would have been.

There was no way Toshiya could have actually seen Kaoru’s eyes darken from across the room, so maybe it was more a feeling than anything, but in an instant, Kaoru was on his knees, half _crawling_ to the spot Toshiya had indicated.

All eagerness and need, Kaoru looked obediently up at him, not making any move tostart something until he was told. He always had been a fast learner.

“You remember how this works,” Toshiya said. “If you need to stop for any reason at all—”

“I know,” Kaoru said. “I’m ready.”

Toshiya arched an eyebrow. “Then I suggest that be the last time you interrupt me tonight.”

Kaoru opened his mouth like he might argue, but stopped himself. “Yes, sir.” Turning his gaze downward he added, “I… apologize.”

Toshiya’s breath hitched. _Sir_? That was new. But maybe it was a clue about what Kaoru was hoping for, where he wanted this to go, and Toshiya wasn’t about to deny him anything he wanted—though he might let him think he would. He didn’t think it would ever get old, seeing Kaoru like this: kneeling, patient, at his mercy. He pushed a hand through Kaoru’s hair. “Good boy.” After another moment’s thought, he tugged the hair sharply. “Hands behind your back.”

Kaoru didn’t hesitate to comply, clasping his hands behind his back. He awaited further instruction.

It was so _sweet_ , that rare look from Kaoru, from his _leader_ , waiting for Toshiya to command him, but much as Toshiya wanted to savor it, he took comfort in knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time he got to experience such a thing, and so he dropped his hand from Kaoru’s hair, and took half a step back from him. He made sure Kaoru’s eyes were still on him as he unbuttoned his pants and dipped one hand in to palm his hardening cock. Just the way Kaoru was behaving, so obedient, so _good_ for him, was more than enough to get him hard, and he tried not to get carried away with the promise of what was still to come.

“I believe you enjoyed sucking me off last time, didn’t you?” he asked, trying to sound for the most part disinterested.

Kaoru swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

“And you’d like to do it again?”

“Very much.”

“Then you’d better earn it, hadn’t you?” Toshiya ran his foot up Kaoru’s thigh and used it to nudge him in the stomach, pushing him back until he lost his balance, fell splayed awkwardly and caught himself on his elbows.

“What should I do to earn it?” Kaoru asked, trying to still keep his hands behind his back as he’d been told, even in this uncomfortable position.

Toshiya ignored him. Or pretended to. He was still watching Kaoru from the corner of his eye, even as he turned his attention more fully to his own cock, pulling it out from the confines of his clothing and giving it a few easy strokes. He had Kaoru before him, could tell him to do basically anything he wanted, and yet he couldn’t decide what he would like most of all.

“Toshiya?”

Toshiya cocked his head. “You haven’t even _asked_ me,” he pointed out.

Kaoru blushed, and stammered out, “I—you’re right, I’m sorry—Please, Toshiya, sir, can—may I… May I suck your cock?”

The words seemed to embarrass him more than the position he’d taken up so willingly, and Toshiya almost laughed. Instead, he pushed his pants down with his underwear, and stepped out of them, kicking them aside. “You want it?” he said lowly, standing over Kaoru, his hand wrapped around his dick again.

“Please,” Kaoru repeated, and Toshiya was pleased to see the obvious bulge in his pants that gave away just how much Kaoru was enjoying this.

“Up on your knees.”

And Kaoru was _there_ , kneeling properly once more, hands behind his back, lips parted. Toshiya really could have just devoured him right there, but opted to make him work a little bit more in order to get what he wanted.

“Tell me something,” Toshiya said, dropping his hand from his cock for the time being.

Kaoru’s eyes widened a bit and he wet his lips. “What… What would you like me to tell you?”

“When’s the last time you got off?”

The flush that spread across Kaoru’s cheeks was immediate and adorable. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“You’ve gotten yourself off since our last date, haven’t you?” Toshiya asked. He kept his tone matter-of-fact, no judgment in the question.

“Yes,” Kaoru said, his eyes downcast.

Toshiya couldn’t help but smile. “And did you think of me?”

Kaoru exhaled slowly, still clinging to whatever control he had. “I did.”

“So? Tell me about it,” Toshiya said. Kaoru’s reluctance was evident, but so was his arousal, and Toshiya felt confident that this was a way in which he liked being subjugated. “I’m sure it won’t take long to tell,” Toshiya continued, cocking his hip as he looked down at Kaoru. “I haven’t forgotten that you have a rather pathetic lack of stamina. Even your self sessions are probably over in two minutes.”

“I thought—” Kaoru swallowed, straightened his shoulders. “I thought about… being bad. What you would have to do, if I… didn’t follow orders the way I should.”

Toshiya kept his breathing level. “Oh? What would I have to do?”

“Teach me a lesson,” Kaoru said quietly. “Tie me up. Spank me. Tell me what a worthless whore I am.”

_Wow_ , Toshiya thought, Kaoru’s fantasies were pretty kinky once he allowed himself to open up. “And would you learn your lesson?”

Kaoru shook his head guiltily. “I would—I would cum, just from you spanking me, make a mess without you even giving me permission.”

“Fuck,” Toshiya said under his breath. He rubbed at his own thighs, trying to keep himself from just jerking off frantically at what he was hearing. “How does it end?”

Kaoru pressed his lips together as he looked up. At length he said, “It ends… with me fucking myself on my fingers, wishing like hell it was your cock, begging for the release that I know you’ll allow me. Even when I’m bad. Because you—you don’t think I’m worthless.”

There was emotion there in his eyes, under the shame and the lust, something that gave Toshiya the odd sensation that his heart was doing a pirouette within his ribcage. “I don’t,” Toshiya agreed. “You’re not, never. You deserve to feel good. You deserve so much…” He petted Kaoru’s hair with one hand, let the other cup his face, and felt Kaoru sigh into the gentle touch.

All at once, Toshiya came to realize what he wanted had changed, and he pulled away from Kaoru, instead offering him a hand to help him to his feet.

Kaoru eyed him suspiciously, like he wasn’t sure he was really allowed to take his hands from behind his back.

“It’s not a test,” Toshiya said. “I want you to come with me.”

With that, Kaoru allowed himself to be helped up from the floor, wincing slightly as he got his legs under him.

“I’ve got you,” Toshiya said, letting Kaoru put more of his weight on him as he stretched out his legs. After giving him a moment to adjust, he led them down the hall to his bedroom.

Toshiya’s bed was Western style, tall and sturdy, with an intricately decorated headboard, all winding polished brass in a design of vines and leaves. He pushed Kaoru gently down onto the mattress and leaned over him, kissing him sweetly, patiently, as if he were trying to draw something out of him.

“So, my darling,” Toshiya said as he started to unfasten Kaoru’s pants. “I have to admit, your fantasies… Not quite what I was expecting.”

“No?”

“Is that what you really want? For me to humiliate you, spank you, make you mine?” He looked seriously at him. It sounded like dirty talk, but it was a real question. Toshiya had been so sure he knew what Kaoru wanted, what he needed, but maybe he hadn’t taken things far enough. At any rate, it never hurt to check in.

“I want…” Kaoru hesitated, swallowed. “I want you. I want whatever you want to give me, and I want to be good for you.”

Toshiya smiled before kissing him again. “And that’s your fantasy? Me fucking you, filling you with my cock?” He nipped at Kaoru’s jaw. “That’s the thought you touch yourself to?”

“God, yes,” Kaoru said, gasping in a breath like he’d forgotten such necessities for a moment. 

“Hmm,” Toshiya said, and pulled away with a pout. “That’s too bad.”

“What?” Kaoru looked at him in panic. “Wh-why? Why too bad?”

“I mean, we can do that, if that’s all you want,” Toshiya said with a shrug. He moved around the bed, dragging his fingers along the top cover.

“Or?”

“Or you can strip, and let me do things my way,” Toshiya said, and smiled innocently.

Kaoru nodded hurriedly. “Your way. Your way is always good.”

“I knew you picked things up quick,” Toshiya said. He watched to make sure Kaoru was going about getting his clothes off, and then bent to pull a box out from under the bed. He stood with it, and enjoyed the sight of Kaoru laying himself totally bare, free of those walls and boundaries he tended to set around himself.

Kaoru got back onto the bed and leaned back on his hands, looking uncertainly to Toshiya. “How… do you want me?”

“Man,” Toshiya said, slipping gracefully onto the bed himself, “do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that?” He patted the pillows up at the head of the bed. “Come up here, baby.”

The briefest hint of a smile passed over Kaoru’s face before he started crawling up towards Toshiya. “Here?” He turned, lying back against the pillows.

“Perfect,” Toshiya said. He opened his box then, pulling out a few silk scarves. “You didn’t mind being restrained before, right?”

Kaoru shook his head. “Not by you.” He watched Toshiya’s hands as they started securing his wrists to the headboard. “And if I need to get out—”

“Yeah, yeah, you can holler for our vocalist all you want,” Toshiya said. “He might even hear you, too; I wouldn’t be that surprised if they had this place bugged.” Kaoru looked so horrified at that that Toshiya took pity on him and said reassuringly, “I’m kidding. But of course, use your safe word if you need to.”

“It’s strange to think of them all… knowing,” Kaoru said.

“I didn’t tell them any details,” Toshiya said. “How’s the knot on that one feel?”

Kaoru pulled a little at the scarf. “Feels good. I can’t get out, but it’s not too tight.”

Toshiya smiled, pleased, and moved onto the other wrist.

“No details at all?”

Toshiya paused in his work. “Well.” He grimaced. “Okay, so they might have worked out who topped whom, but not because I _told_ them—”

“They _what_??”

“You said earlier you didn’t want to know, so I didn’t tell you!”

“How could they have figured that out?” Kaoru asked, somewhat desperately, and Toshiya felt the guilt just washing over him. He shouldn’t have told the others anything about Kaoru’s private life. Sure, they were his friends, but Kaoru deserved to keep his dignity intact.

“I’m sorry,” Toshiya said sincerely. He finished the second knot and sat back on his knees, next to Kaoru, rubbing a soothing hand along Kaoru’s thigh. “It was just, Die asked if you threw me down on the bed, and he could just tell from my reaction—”

Kaoru gave a pitiful, embarrassed moan and Toshiya hung his head.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, squeezing Kaoru’s thigh, “I never meant to—wait, are… Are you… turned on?” As Toshiya’s hand rubbed at Kaoru’s thigh, he nearly ran right into Kaoru’s erection, resting up towards his hip. Was that just leftover from earlier, or…?

Kaoru turned his head, trying to hide his face against his restrained arm. 

Toshiya bit his lip. “You’re getting off on the idea of them knowing? You want them all to see you like this? Helpless and needy, cock hard and leaking?”

Weakly, Kaoru shook his head. His cheeks were flushed again, and Toshiya couldn’t remember ever seeing him so beautiful.

“Damn, you really are a dirty slut, aren’t you?” Toshiya mused, and he reached into his box, pulling out the lube and a condom. He tossed one leg over Kaoru, facing away from him. “I hate to disappoint, but I don’t feel like fucking you tonight.”

“Wha—? Oh… Oh, god.”

Toshiya smirked over his shoulder as he watched Kaoru realize just what he was doing. Reaching behind himself with lubed-up fingers, he said in a low voice, “You have a pretty good seat for my show. You gonna watch me?”

Kaoru nodded dazedly. “ _Yes_.”

Using his other hand for support, Toshiya pushed two fingers up into his hole, all the while listening to the changes in Kaoru’s breathing as he watched. He had to remind himself to breathe properly, too, to not get carried away and rush things in his excitement.

In all honesty, Toshiya liked being watched by anybody. It was only natural; he was a bandman after all. He loved the life he lived onstage, under the lights. But he couldn’t think of a more captivated audience than the one he had right now, and he could barely contain himself as he felt Kaoru’s eyes on him, on his fingers moving wetly in and out of his ass, stretching him open, for Kaoru’s dick.

And there it was, Kaoru’s beautiful dick, right in front of him, so hard it looked painful, dark and drooling, and without warning, Toshiya suddenly leaned down enough to get it in his mouth.

“Tosh— _Shit_!” Kaoru bucked up almost violently, would have thrown Toshiya off if his balance were a little less practiced. Toshiya could hear him pulling at his binds, cursing extensively under his breath, and he just moaned, bobbing his head over Kaoru’s cock.

Still, he couldn’t put up with it for long, and a couple minutes later saw him pulling off, getting his fingers free and clambering off Kaoru’s writhing form.

“T-Toshiya,” Kaoru panted. “I— _fuck_ , I need—”

“I know,” Toshiya said, his voice coming out a good deal calmer than what he was actually feeling. “Be still.”

Kaoru whimpered, yanking at his restraints so hard Toshiya was worried he would hurt himself.

“Be _still_ ,” Toshiya said again, more forcefully, and with what was obviously a shit-ton of effort, Kaoru stilled.

He didn’t need him to be still for _long_. Just long enough to get the condom on him, really, but it was clear that even that short time felt like hours for poor Kaoru, worked up as he was. He was incoherent until Toshiya was straddling him again, sinking down on his length with a groan.

Well, he wasn’t much more coherent after that, just more active. 

Toshiya knew he didn’t have a hope of calming him down, stopping him from pistoning his hips wildly as he thrust into Toshiya’s body, but he lived for it. He was in ecstasy, seeing Kaoru come completely undone, fucking up into him like a madman, fueled by lust and desperation instead of control and pragmatism. Kaoru needed it, and Toshiya would be lying if he said it wasn’t exactly what he needed, too.

“O-ohh, _Leader_ , oh god you feel—” Toshiya broke off, moaning. His hands scrabbled at Kaoru’s chest, seeking some groundedness or contact or he didn’t even know what. “You fill me up so— _so_ go-ood, oh fuck, Kaoru, _fuck_.”

Kaoru was babbling, but nothing that came out was even words, except for a few elegant and unrelated curse words here and there.

This was a fantasy Toshiya had had too many times for it to last very long. He looked down at his own cock, how it bobbed and slapped against his stomach as he rode Kaoru like his life depended on it. He was going to cum with Kaoru inside him. The realization had him giving a loud, high-pitched whine, and he shut his eyes tightly, so close to the edge that he felt almost scared of just how totally he was going to lose it. There was no reining it in from here.

Somewhere in Kaoru’s constant stream of beautiful nothingness and profanity, Toshiya caught a murmur of his own name, and he opened his eyes, trying to blink away the tears forming there. He found Kaoru watching him, staring at his face with that same open need he’d had at the very beginning of the evening.

“Leader…” Toshiya whispered, and couldn’t get out another syllable before he was cumming, gasping loudly as he spilled himself across Kaoru’s belly.

It wasn’t but another few thrusts before Kaoru followed after him, his hips jerking and tensing as he gave a low groan, and Toshiya was sure he could feel the throb of his cock as he came.

Toshiya wanted nothing more than to just collapse, panting and drained. It felt like it would take him an hour to catch his breath, but he pushed that exhaustion aside in favor of looking after Kaoru. Lifting himself carefully, he let Kaoru slip from his body, and wasted no time in disposing of the condom. He didn’t trust his legs to carry him to the bathroom for a towel or anything at that exact second, but he crawled forward and untied Kaoru’s hands, pressing kisses against the reddened skin of his wrists. 

He nuzzled against Kaoru’s cheek, holding him close and listening once more to the sound of his breathing, as it slowed and evened out. 

“Tell me what you need, baby?” Toshiya said softly, not wanting to move more than a few centimeters away from his lover, no matter how sweaty and sticky they both were.

“This,” Kaoru said. “Just you, here.”

“Well, that’s easy,” Toshiya said, smiling against Kaoru’s skin. He reached blindly for a remote on the nightstand and hit the button for the air conditioner before dropping it off the side of the bed so he could hold Kaoru even closer. 

If any tears escaped him, Toshiya hoped they could be passed off as sweat, or just overflowing emotions left over from the sex. In reality they were the acceptance that this was real. One time he could have told himself was a fluke, rather than the start of Something, but this was no fluke. Kaoru was here in his bed because he wanted to be, because they could be good for each other, and he wasn’t leaving.

Somewhere in the distance of the quiet apartment, Toshiya heard the sound of his text message alert, but he didn’t even consider getting up from the bed. Whatever details Die wanted could wait until tomorrow. For now, Toshiya had everything he wanted.


End file.
